Are You Up to That?

(3)

So... I have decided to depart from this 'marriage.' It is true that I was unfaithful to Kootch. That is true. But I was only sexually unfaithful. I was only minimally emotionally unfaithful (tap). But Kootch is grossly unfaithful to me in every sense. And she has been unfaithful to me for many years. Our marriage is over (boom). I will now seek a divorce. I am sure that Kootch and I will be able to arrive at a mutually satisfactory settlement. It is over. All over.

This leaves me... available!

Are you an old lady looking for an appropriate male pardner (tap)? Yes? Then today is your lucky day. You only need to own your place of residence free and clear, and be willing to accept a new tenant. I can pay. I only need one room. Small room. If you have a high speed cable connection then that is a big plus. We can get to know each other, slowly, as owner and tenant. And if it doesn't work out, then I can move on. No hurry.

We have so little time: Jesus is on the way.

I imagine you living in Oklahoma or Kansas or Nebraska... I see us in a small town. Small tolerant town. I see your town's primary spiritual (tap) description as, 'Awake.' I would love to live with a glorious old woman in a small Western town away from everywhere, and especially away the pathetic Jewish queer, Walter Gerash.

Are you up to that?