The Value of Indirectness

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After thinking about the question for a while I have come up with some general guidelines about dealing with the question of Jewish identity. The watchword here is, 'indirectness:' Unless a Jew has already revealed himself (herself) as a Jew, NEVER ask the suspected Jew directly. You will only offend the said suspected Jew. I repeat: Never! Ever!

For example, here are some questions you should never ask a suspected Jew:

• Are you a Jew?
• Are you Jewish? (this is slightly less offensive, but insufficient)
• Are you a Heeb? (extremely offensive)
• Do you wear a beanie? (same as above)

Those questions and similar questions are no-nos. Jews have no sense of humor regarding their Jewishness except in the presence of other Jews.

Which brings us to more sensitive (Jewish 'sensitivity' resides above the ears) approaches:

• Don't you just love Falwell?
• I'm really big on The 700 Club. Aren't you? (Careful here: some Jews are!)
• Don't you just love the new pope!
• Did you see that gross homoerotic movie about Jesus? Yuck.

Depending on the reaction you may be able to determine the Jewishness of the person in question. But remember: Jews in general are loathe to reveal themselves because of historical considerations. Final word: be extremely careful around suspected Jews. Your livelyhood might depend on it.