Careful: Jews are Touchy

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Which brings us to the subject of how, exactly, do you determine whether or not your pediatrician is a Jew? Do you flat out ask the sucker? 'Are you a Jew?' Or, do you go about doing that sort of thing in a more subtle manner, taking into account possible 'Jewish sensibilities?' I've been thinking about a scale of Jewish sensibility in this regard. What would a Jew find offensive? My experience has been that some of them are pretty fucking touchy. So far I have asked two suspected Jews (both were physicians) whether they were Jews: one of them called the cops on me and I ended up in a mental (tap) ward for the night, and the other - outraged - said, 'I might be, I might not be.' He did not call the cops on me because I was already in his 'care' due to my last question (above) to another touchy fucking Jewish physician.

So perhaps you can profit from my unfortunate experience with touchy Jews. Do you want to know whether your doctor recommends circumcision (boom) for your newborn son because he himself is Jewish, suffering from penis envy? If so, how do you determine his status without offending him (or her)? Good question.